müde

the last two days have been hard. hard because the schedule has been so so packed -- i leave the dorm between 8 or 9 AM and get back around 9 PM at least. when we don't have class, we have mandatory activities. i like the activities, but i have had no time to Do My Own Thing at all this week.

tuesday:
• kunsthistoriches museum in the morning. there were some really amazing HUGE Reubens paintings. i enjoyed the dürer/kranach/holbein exhibit because i saw a good handful of paintings i had studied in my art history classes last year. that's really exciting for me!
• mittagsklasse. it's very hot and very boring this week. i talked to peter, a canadian!, who seems like an interesting guy. too bad he disappears all the time.
• wandered around, got some coffee!
• waltz demo. i (and everyone else) was really hot and tired and really wasn't in the mood for any physical contact, but it was actually pleasant. we were just taught the basic basic eins-zwei-drei step and we did that over and over with different people for a really long time. i wish we could have learned more things because we definitely had time for it. i REALLY WISH i could go to a waltz ball and dance with handsome cravat-wearing aristocratic men in powdered wigs and red coats and high socks. what is happening to me.
• went out immediately after waltzing mit freunde to the Usual Place around stephansplatz. the security dude made me feel bad about german because i didn't understand what he was asking (auf Deutsch, natürlich) and he seemed exasperated. then i went over to to to an imbiss by schwedenplatz satisfy my insane falafel craving of the day. this time, i only said a few words but the guy started talking to me in english! why :( *
my mood improved after a beer, hearty conversation with the vcu crew, and meeting a nice austrian boy named philipp.
it was a good evening! all that matters is how you feel when you go home, anyway.


* i feel like i haven't been using as much german as i should be this week. probably this is because i've been spending more time with people (The Americans) and i'm pretty exhausted and class is not as fun for me as it was previously. maybe i'm frustrated. maybe i'm being too hard on myself. i realized today on one of the several trains i ride every day, that this is like what jonathan acts like with drawing -- like if he/i is/am not being productive or practicing in every single moment then it's a wasted moment and we're falling behind. that is the heart of it. i do make an effort every single time i go out and have to talk to someone, but for some reason i feel like it's not enough. then how can it be enough?